Wave of Contentment

Up until yesterday I was worried about two things. The first being whether or not I filled out my visa application correctly and whether I’d missed over a question and that when I received the package from FedEx, it would be a piece of paper saying “DENIED” in big, red, judgmental letters. The second thing I was worried about was something my recruiter had recently e-mailed me about. He gave me a list of things that I would need, and one of them was my letter of residency. The only way to get that letter is through filling out that tax form that I didn’t understand, and thus haven’t completed yet. I e-mailed him explaining that I hadn’t received the letter yet (omitting that I haven’t mailed it out yet) and didn’t hear back. In the same way I was afraid of a big, judgmental, red rejection letter from the South Korean Consulate, I was also afraid of a small, judgmental rejection e-mail saying “Sorry Jean, that you weren’t responsible enough to fill out a simple 3-Page tax form. Have fun in the United States this upcoming year, I hear Walmart is hiring.”

I always imagine the worst case scenarios as being inevitable realities. I’d like to think that I “hope for the best, plan for the worst,” but in reality I dwell on the worst to the extent that when it’s more than likely that things will work out and they do, I’m happily stunned. I was stunned yesterday to receive my passport with my Republic of Korea visa stamped in it. I was equally as stunned when my recruiter called me up last night and when I asked him about the letter of residency he said that I don’t need to worry about it and that I wouldn’t need it for awhile.

So, now, officially there is nothing at all I need to worry about. I don’t need to worry about being rejected from the Consulate, the FedEx truck with my passport in it crashing into fiery flames or my English recruiter rejecting me while employing dry, cutting British humor to do so. I feel awesome right now. It looks like everything is a go and the best case scenario is now the reality.

Last night on the phone I found out that I will have a 3 day orientation in a hotel in Seoul. I’ll be teaching elementary school children and on the last day of the orientation I’ll be meeting my teaching assistant (who is Korean), going to my school in Incheon and meeting my principal. Shortly thereafter I’ll begin observing and then I’ll probably start teaching around October 4 or 5. I was worried about being thrown into a classroom as a teacher immediately following my orientation. Between the jet lag, the culture shock and the overall exhaustion and nerves, I was worried about being expected to teach. I’m not as worried anymore. In general I’m not worried anymore, which is a nice and foreign feeling that I plan to dwell in… for the next 40 hours before I get on the plane to leave the country. I’m going to see how long I can ride this wave of contentment for.

Good Fortunes

Today, I got Chinese food with a friend of mine and my fortune cookie said “You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.” That’s a freaking awesome cookie.

I just got back from meeting up with a few friends at a bar. For the bulk of the time I was talking with my friends Paul and Lindsay. Paul just returned from thru-hiking the entire Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maine and Lindsay just returned from studying abroad in Brazil. She went through the same program I went with, but she went to the other city and she stayed for 7 1/2 months, spending the last 2-3 months traveling. We were talking about our different experiences and it was just awesome spending an evening talking with people who’ve traveled and done things that were really hard, but in the end worth the experience. Everything after Brazil for both Lindsay and me, and after the trail for Paul, is easier. All three of these experiences were difficult in their own ways, but because of that difficulty everything else in day to day life is now a lot easier.

At this moment, I’m really nervous. But it’s going to be okay. Paul said that once I get there, a lot of my anxiety will go away, and Lindsay said that probably once I get on the plane to go there that’ll happen. I’m fairly certain that when I was leaving for Brazil that was the case. Once I got on the plane, everything seemed easier and once I arrived there and saw how beautiful Florianopolis was, my anxiety faded away. Once I see South Korea, everything will be so much easier, once the unknown abyss in my mind is replaced with an actual (awesome) place that I will be living in for 1 year.

New… It’s So New

Right now I’m on my couch reading. This morning I spent a small fortune on my glasses and contacts and after being relatively busy the past few days, and I don’t have any more plans for today. It’s weird, but it’s a good weird. My visa should get to me by today or tomorrow, I have my glasses and my contacts. Tomorrow I’m going shopping for the last few things I’ll be needing and then off I go.

I’m reading the last story in When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris. Sedaris is famous for writing short, autobiographical, comical stories and I would highly recommend that anyone read his books. This is his most recent book and the final story in it is about him quitting smoking. He’d heard that it helps to shake up ones routine when attempting to quit, so he and his boyfriend rented an apartment in Tokyo for a few months. This story is essentially a series of diary entries from almost every day he was in Tokyo. Everyday involved learning something new about the culture, the language, the city, the food or the people.

Every day in Korea will be something new. Yes, like David Sedaris and like myself when I was in Brazil, I will embarrass myself either through my complete lack of proficiency with the language or through making cultural mistakes. But every day will be something new; a new food, a new site, a new word in Korean, a new cultural experience, etc. Everyday will be interesting.

When I was in Brazil there was this boy who also studied abroad with me, John. Among my close friends and family, he’s relatively infamous at this point. He complained everyday about Brazil and about things being novel to him. While the other exchange student, Kelly, and I looked for the positive in everything new and grew to see new things as an exciting challenge, he saw it as a stumbling block in his life. Frequently, he would compared American culture and society to Brazilian culture and society in a way that painted Brazil in a less than flattering light simply because he couldn’t deal with the difference. He couldn’t deal with anything that was new.

Now, I’m feeling anxious to be in South Korea and to see a completely new culture and society. I have the opportunity to see another part of the world and get paid for it. My job is allowing me to not only experience something new, but to live in it for probably a year. The novel will become common and the new will become old.

Part of me wants to fast forward through what will be the initial stages of uncertainty and embarrassment in South Korea that will likely last the first couple of weeks I’m there, however I can’t. I can’t, and maybe there’s a reason why everyone in a new culture goes through those stages and maybe they’re to be embraced, enjoyed and learned from rather than agonized over? I’m excited for the moment when Incheon becomes my home and I am used to it, but I’m also excited for the moments when everything is so new and foreign to me.

Novelty is what keeps things interesting.

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